A simple trip to your local grocery store will very likely provide you with a warning to all children: “No Hoverboards!”. Boy that really cuts you down. No more kids spinning in circles on this tiny contraption. This thing isn’t even a real hoverboard, I just want to put that out there. A real hoverboard does the whole Back To The Future thing. You know, hover over the ground. The banned vehicles that have been terrifying the supermarket’s as of late misleadingly rely on clunky plastic wheels! There’s no hover, just board. It’s a skateboard without the “skate.”
Those Shoes With The Skates Built In!
Heelies came onto the scene and blew up the supermarket world in 2000, yep I know, that’s kind a while ago! I mean, I must have trampled a dozen kids squeaking by myself. Those friggin’ shoes were literally everywhere! They were harder to ban due to the whole “but it’s my shoe!” Eventually Heelies banned themselves. The trend gods had spoken, now it was stupid to wear them, and all store manager collectively expelled a sigh of relief.
Does This Mean Hoverboards Are…Real?
No. Having a cheaply made, 2-wheeled kids toy masquerading as something all men and women have been dreaming for for 30 years does not make it a reality. I really appreciate how futuristic and cool seeing a sign that cautioned “No Hoverboards” is though. By reading that sign, I was transported into the future. A time where kids and punks alike infringe on store proprietors by hovering past, munching on some grapes and then, zoom! flying away through the skylight. I can see it. Plain as day.
Things to remember about you and your hoverboard; One, you look like you’re going to fall over. Also keep in mind that an old lady could be around that aisle and she’ll shatter like a Lays chip if you touch her.